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Parenting is personal journey, I hope to bring you the knowledge, creativity and confidence needed to enjoy parenting within your unique and beautiful family. As people, we become parents in many different ways, but no matter how you joined the Parenting Club, it is probably full of unexpected twists and turns. If you are here, you are probably looking to normalize your experience and get some support. Take comfort, you are not alone, and you've found your place. New baby, to

Is your young child experiencing a delay, asynchronous development or is a disability more accurate. This is a very complicated and emotionally complicated topic. I'm bringing it up to open the discussion... Asynchronous skills development can speed up or delay the emergence of skills. What is asynchronous development though? It means developmental skills are coming at a rate or emergence that is unique and doesn't fit a statistical norm. Sometimes gifted children have deep t

Teens are supposed to gain independence and autonomy from parents. They are hard wired to go over the proverbial ridge and experience the other village to share DNA, exchange cultural norms and knowledge. They seek some adventure and your job it to help them fill that need in a developmentally appropriate way that supports them and their future. The pathway through teen years is often challenging to the family relationship as rudeness and boundary setting take hold. Actively

Parents naturally want the best for their children. When a child is diagnosed as autistic, parents may feel uncertain about what developmental milestones to expect and fret about when. We might try to spend so many hours of the day working to catch up or "fix" and miss connection or recharge time. Uncertainty and future fears can lead to comparisons with other children (neurotypical or autistic), which might not always be helpful. It can also exacerbate or create anxiety and

I try to consider each member of our family as part of an ecological or complex system. If one member is not thriving than the whole system suffers. The wilt spreads. So now we focus on making sure each member's needs are being met (including mine!) so that we can all thrive. It's hard letting go of cultural norms of high productivity expectations and meeting kids "where they are". Lately our family members and system have been letting go of social expectations. There is mor

Well in my previous posts I mentioned that I was very late picking up my son. I had the intention, capacity but my attention was elsewhere. So now what. Yes ADHD altered how the plan was supposed to go. After a few days of lots of pondering I realized that the alarm was not the message I needed. Like "hey stop with the spreadsheet, go to pick up NOW". I needed the message more clearly stating its connection to my intention. So when we know our child's intention and make the m

I had the intention to bring my child home. I set an alarm to help with my attention. I had the capacity- a car, ability to drive it and I knew the route. My alarm also was supposed to help with my capacity to track time. So what happened? I heard my alarm and physically could not pull my attention from my spreadsheet. I was totally in hyper-focus mode. I heard the alarm and actually said to myself " oh that's just some alarm on my phone". So A+I=C still applied but I was inc

(Intention+Attention)xCapacity= likelihood for success Intention is person driven. Children and parents often assume their intentions match. Have a conversation. Consider how much you have control over the internal intentions of another person, not much. Children have their own autonomy and independent thinking thus their intentions are their own. If your child’s intentions do not align with your expectations a conversation is necessary but not sufficient. Consider how your

Holy cow! Let's talk waivers. I feel fortunate to be in Boulder County, CO because we have a community of supportive organizations and parents. But phew the waiver process is worth a discussion with your Community Centered Board (CCB) in Boulder and Broomfield counties that is A&I avenues. There are several funding streams available to help families. Waivers Unpacked : Information is taken from https://www.aiavenues.org/a-i-avenues-funding-programs community comments and my

2 days off school was REALLY hard for me. To trust, that kids want to succeed when they can (thanks Dr. Ross Greene) is my mantra. So yes, I'm trying something different. I have to say it worked. Now, I'm not saying missing school is for everyone or for every circumstance. But in this situation we are carefully navigating away from autistic burnout. I felt like it was the right moment to trust my child's insight and desire to do well when conditions are supportive. Recharge!

Today I challenged myself to try something different. I've done the push-my-kids-to-school approach echoing how I grew up. I went to school unless I was puking, had a high fever or was just skipping to be in the rarely-scene sunshine of upstate NY. Did this "east coast" work ethic. Did it get me over the morning sluggish lumping, sometimes. We talk about feelings, we talk about spoons, burn out, recharge, mental health days. I've planted seeds for self awareness that I never